I can't lead anyone to a place I am not going!
Children learn more from what they see us do than from what we say to and around them.
I am so glad that Jesus saved me from myself.
In my helping others how ever I am to help them, many times the encouragement, clarity and wisdom that is given to them through me, is also for me to listen to and use.
Below is one of those messages.
I have put it in the form of what my partner and I desire for our daughters. How we are on one accord concerning God's best for them and what our role is in their lives and what God's role is in all of our lives as a family and as individuals.
Jesus is the Generous Giver of Love. Love grows by giving it. Love is a gift which calls for the giving of oneself with no expectation of receiving back.
Many times some people cannot give back to you what you give, because, they don't have it to give.
We have to be filled with Love in order to give it to others.
Having strong spiritual discernment will help reveal to you when others are not able to love you as you need to be loved, and cannot give to you what they don't have. If you need kindness, compassion, truth, integrity, faith, trust, etc... and the people you are seeking this from don't have it to give to you, then you will be disappointed when you realize this.
Having the gift of strong discernment, will help you not to expect from them what they don't have to give. You will be able to put and keep those relationships where they belong in your life.
Sometimes people fake it, they pretend to be who they are not, and offer what they do not have for various reasons.
There are times when we are taken aback, when we find out who we trusted, let into our inner circle, allowed to come into our homes, are not who they presented themselves to be. We feel betrayed and done wrong. Rightly so, but part of the responsibility lies with us also. How we handle the uncovering of who they really are not, is going to give us more insight into our own character than theirs.
Many times people get bent out of shape, and disappointment flows steady because they expect from others what others don't have to give.
Some do recognize this truth, but many others do not recognize this truth. You can't change people, especially if they do not want to change, but want you to allow them to stay the same toxic person. They will end up changing you for the worse.
Either way if they stay in these unhealthy relationships, they will get stuck in a cycle of lowering their expectations, their standards and boundaries, settling for what the person does give, knowing it is not what is needed, it is not helping them to grow and mature and it is actually slowly robbing them of all life, making things toxic, because it is not Love and Not rooted in Love.
I would gain nothing Good from doing things with immature and childish behavior.
I would certainly not be a good example for our daughters, nieces, nephews, god children, and all the other children I cross paths with to learn from, if I was being hateful, childish, immature and vengeful. I wasn't raised like that and I certainly am not teaching that to our daughters.
Treating people with meanness, disregard, hatefulness and disrespect will do nothing but keep me from being/becoming the best person God made me to be. I seek to please my Lord, not people.
I do not have the kind of hate, immaturity, and vengeful heart nor desire to do wrong for wrong toward people who do me wrong.
I have no time, energy nor desire to hate anyone.
No One is worth giving that kind of power to over me.
We want our daughters to have Healthy, growing, maturing and loving relationships with themselves, with each other, with us their parents, and with as many people as possible through out their life time.
Our roles as their parents are to provide the foundation of Love to them so that they are able to have a healthy, loving, growing and maturing relationship with themselves first, then they will be able to have one with other people.
Teaching them to always be true to themselves will enable them to be true with others and learn to know the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship.
So that when they are dealing with an unhealthy relationship they will recognize it as one, they will seek to find out their part in it being unhealthy and then process the options that will help them decide whether to save it, heal it or get rid of it.
We also want our girls to recognize the healthy relationships in and throughout their lives, so that they will know there are responsibilities to shoulder with these as well. That you have to invest in and nurture these healthy relationships so that they continue to grow, mature and provide all the Good they are able to.
We want them to learn and know, that they have to do their part to keep a healthy relationship healthy, loving, supportive, growing and maturing just as the other person has their part also.
And to do this, one has to know themselves, love themselves, accept their faults and grow from their mistakes. Basically they will have to have a healthy relationship with themselves in order to have them with other people in their life times.
We want our daughters to understand that if the people in the relationship (whether it be friendships, their relationship with us, and their family through us, teachers, etc), are not mutually truthful, growing, maturing and working for the same goal, then the relationship will not grow nor mature.
And that sometimes one person is growing, but the other is not, and that is ok also.
It's ok because, growing and maturing faster than others does not mean they need to wait for folk to catch up.
No, they can go on with their lives, knowing that those who are not in the same place as they are, simple don't require the same kind of position in their lives as others who are growing and maturing along with them.
We want them to understand that some people don't want to grow and mature, that they are happy just as they are and where they are in their lives. Even if they enjoy that person's company they don't have to stop their lives and entertain the fear that these kinds of people feed. But to be careful of people like this, as usually they will reveal their envy, jealousy and hidden negative motives to hinder the progress and growth in you.
This is God's way of separating us.
We want them to succeed in the small things and the large things, but we want them to learn to love their mistakes for the blessings/lessons that they hold.
We want them to learn that being honest with oneself and taking responsibility for the choices they make, is the truthful, healthy, and loving way to treat oneself.
Because there are always consequences regardless if the choice is a good one or a bad one, we will have to deal with the consequences of our choices.
We want our daughters to love their lives, to love who God made them to be and to know how to share love with every one, by serving God in the name of Jesus.
Children learn more from what they see than from what the adults say to and around them.
In the name of Jesus, I praise the Holy Name of God for being our help at all times, for being our Joy at all times, and for guiding us in raising His children that He gave to us. So Be It!I can't lead anyone to a place I am not going!
I John 4:16
On feet of Faith & Peace Resting In His Peace & Faithfulness,
One Day At A Time By Radical Faith.
Isaiah 50:4 / Isaiah 52 / Jer 20:9-13 /Joshua 1:9 / Luke 6:38